Lavender the messenger
by purpleMessenger118
Summary: dis is a supper awsome stry i wrot its gut my litle pony if u lick dat. i lick my litle pony. is aboot meh oc who id haf angle half troll half wolff nd her my litle ponystuck adventurds! i havnt come up wit it all yet so b patent. is got homesuck nd my litle pony nd romanse nd horrer and suzpense adn a litle bit of humur.
1. Chapter 1

Dis is mi frist stor evah so b nice cuz im still lerning boot ritting adn evehthing dis stry iz a homstuck fanfic cuz HOMESICK ROKS! its abot my awsum oc whos alut leik me so dunt mak fun ov her cuz udderwize ull b makin fin ov me and dat wood be men.

i relly hop u guiz lik it! Mu bf sed it wuz supur gud nd I now he woodnt ly 2 me and b rlly nice 2 me bcuz uthurwize my bf wil get mad u!

I wunt 2 spred the massage of crist wit dis story! i want evah1 2 now dat jesus nd god luv dem! (jEGUS and gog lolollolklollollllolllllololllllolollopplollolol)

Nyway on wit da story! I rlly hop u guys injoy it! N

mu nam iz Lavinder Pirope makara CAptor Legion smith (cuz im relatted 2 terzi nd gamzee adn Solix nd nepta butt i dunt no dat yet. Im also realated tu god (gog lololoololollollllolllllol) and dat iz why i hav Smith in ma name, cuz in dis gods last nam is smith)

I lif in hevan. Ive lived in Heven mi hole life. Dats bucuz im half angle. Im also half troll nd half wolf, nd im a ranbow drinker (dats wut troll vampirs r called and sinse i hav troll in me Im caled a ranbow drunker insted ov a vampir, cuz vAmpres r human nd hymans r LAMB!

"HULLO LANVADER MI DAUTER HOW R U 2DAY?' god (gog lolololo) sed.

"Helo dad." i sed cuz im gods dauter.

'DER IS SUMTING INCOMPETENT I HAV 2 TELL I MI DAITER!' He sad

ok butt hold on cuz im super tired." I sed

'OK.' he sed and i went 2 slep

In mu dream i wuz on a moon caled "gromdarks mun!' (in dis story grimdark is a planet insted ov dat stuoid ting dat rose went cuz she tinks shes all cool nd dakr! (If u lik ros go away cuz she suks!) mi dremself didnt live on prospit or derse insted I loved on Grimdark.

I wuz fliing arond on grimdarks moon wen suddunly i herd sumting frum the Great gRimdark prophets! Der lik skaya or da gods ov da farthist ring but fir da grimdark dreamers, so unly me

'Lavender! U must wack up so dat ur grate nd powdfully fahter cn tell u wut u muts her!"

So i wok up!

'wut is it dad?" i aksed

'WELL. he sed but sedenly da scren tunred balck!

Oooooooooh wut do u tink will happin?! Bbb b leve me a gud revew seyin wut u tink wil hapen nd wut u think god (gog lololollollolollolol) needs 2 tell her! Also sey if u thonk it wuz gud!


	2. Chapter 2

SHIT UP DIS IS A RLLY GOOD FANFIC, OK?

2 DA PERSON WHO AKSED IF IM FUOR: NO IM NOT FOUR DUMMY! ADN WAT IF I WUZ FOUR, HUH? YU WOOD HAV JUST INSLUTED A FUOR YEAR OLD! DO U HATE FOUR YER OLDS OR SUMTING? U PROBULY HAT LITTLE KIDS! I BET U KILL BABBIES! U PROLLY KIDNAP A BUNCH OV BABIES ND DEN BLOW DEM UP! SO TAK DAT, **BBY EXPLODER!**

"U MUTS TRAVAL 2 A DIFRENT PLANUT, WHERE SUM1 WIL TELL U YUR DESTINY' god (gog lolololoololoololoololoolollololololololollo0 sed

Were iz dis other palnut?" i aksed.

"IT IS IN A DIFFRUNT GALIXY 1 OV UR TRU PARENTS IZ FRUM DER.'

"omg rlly? I garped. 'Do u mean mi muther?

"YES I AM REFERING 1 UR MOTER LAVENDR he sed 'SHE IS A TROL DATS WHY U HAVE SUM TROLL IN U"

'ONG!' i sed. 'du u mean alturnia?" (I new abut alterna cuz god had told me abuot it b4)

"YESH I AM' god sed. "U MUTS TARVEL DER A TRILL WIL TELL U ABOOT UR DESTINY'

'OK but how do i get der?' I exaspirated

"zzdats simple.' He sed "I WILL SEND U DER UZING MI SUPER GODLY PWERS!' (cuz god dosn't need a senduficator cuz he can juts teluport der, kinda leik jack exept nut evill nd way cooler. ive alredy retched da god teir cuz ive gut godly powurs in me alredy sinse God is mu dad)

"ok! I sed nd he waved his ham over me.

Evrything went blak!11111!q

*********8****8888*8********************************888************88888****************************8*8********************8888888888888888888888***************8888888**8************************8*8888888***************8************************8*888*****************8************888*8*********** )sry gut carryed away wit da pg break tingy majiger) *******************************8****8888*****************8888888888***************888*********************************8888888*8***********************88 (its just rlly fun 1 do!) 88888888888888888888888888******************88*88*************************************************************88888888888888888888******************************88888********************************8888888*************************************8******************************************8 (ok im done lol)

Wen i woke up I wuz on Alturnia!

"OMG!' I shooted "im on alternia!'

I luked arond. I wuz lying on da sidwalk next to a bunch ov hives. (dats wut troll houzes r called) it wuz nittime cuz I dont tink dey hav day in Alterna. It wuz like a combo ov where Fefuri, Kitkat nd sulkux live, exept I didnt now dat cuz I hadnt meeted dem yet. I saw a troll walkin by (It wuznt one ov da trolls in Homestunk. it wuz just sum radnom troll lol)

I ran over 2 him. "Exuse mu, am i on alternia.

"Ye$ u r on Alernia." He sed. (Da $ insted ov an s is his typin quick)

"Im on alternu!' I shuted, loking around at Alterna.

"U r vry butiful," he sed.

I blushed cuz i didnt tink I wuz beutiful at all. i wuz way 2 curvy. My bobs were 2 big nd so were my butt nd hips nd I wuz 2 skinny (nut anorexix skinny, helthy skiny) my eyes were 2 big nd mi hair wuz blond adn wavy so I wuz always worring dat it wuz fuzzy. "Tank u, but I dont tink I am," i sed.

"No u r! U r da mo$t bootiful grill I hav ever $een!" he expulsed.

"rlly?" I sad, exbarassed.

"yes! I want 2 be ur Moiral!' he sed (morail is da sam az fallin in luv. Der r three others, witch r kissmesis, wich is a hate rommance, matesprite which is like best frends, nd another one I can't remember da name ov which is kinda leik a threesome, I tink. Sinse I hav troll in me I can have moiral, kismesisssss, and matsprit feelins fur somone, butt nut da other one cuz dats kinda gross)-

Suddly Kartkat wakled over. (Remmember I sed erlier it loiked lick wear he lives? well it wuz were he lived! Its a twist!)

Da troll who sed I wuz bootiful ran away cuz hes scarred ov Karkat bcuz katkar yelled at him a lot. I wuznyt scared ov him cuz hes rlly short nd Im leik five foot six, sooooo…..)

"Hullo" I sad 2 Karkar

he flipped mu of cuz hes all pmsy nd stuff (omg do boy trolls hav periods! Maby dats why karkts so grumpy, hes on leik a constunt periud or somting!(

SUDENLYYY! DUN DUN DUN DUN!

A/N; LOLOoloooOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOOOOOOOOOOl cliffhanger! xd wut do yu tink will harpen! tell mu if u leiked it adn revewi!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N Sorry thiis tok suck a long tim to updat. My computur wooldnt let me up date and my mom and dda are makin me take tuturing wich i dont think i relly need. :( also i gut diognosed with dispraxia, and i alredy have dysexia, adn I got dognosed wiht somthing else i cant remember, cuz i gorgot wat it wuz called. My tutur red over mu fanfic and she read this chaptet and she gav me a butch of tips too make it better, so i wonked rally hard on yhis one and i hop yu giys like it mire then yuo licked tha otter one!

OH ADN ALSO (i did thatt in caps so yu giuz woud pay atention lol) i am 15, not 4 or 2, so qit saying that cuz its piecing me off!

aslo i desided to rite god(gog loloololololollollollol,) in al caps so it will loook liek thi: GOD

Oh and i fogrot but thsi ixs also a m little pny fanifc so im gonna go aheadc and bing that in tooo, sory for fogiting to anyon who wauz loking forword to hat

ANYWYA ON QWITH AWSOME STORY::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;;;;;;;;;

! #$%^&*()_+! #$%^&*()_+! #$%^&*()_! #$^&*()_! #$%^&*()_! #$%^&*()#$%^&*()&* (this g is tha new pag brek cuz i fogrt the old one lololoolloll.,k)

Twingt sparkel was in her rom reding. she wuz rweding a bok abot dragins cuz i think she lieks dragons? (i havent de been waching mlp forr veryf long sou i dont actualy know if she liks darogn butt i think she dos cuz she has a pet one or somthing)

heer drgon pet cam in (i fogot his nam, sorry ...can somone tell me wat it is? Tnks)

"hi, _" tilight sad. (im just gona put _ for his nam sins i cant member it)

Hi' _ siad. "wat arre yu reding, twinlit?

"just a bok abot draons cuz Im a supper bad parent nd hav no cluue how to tak car of a baby drong.' Tlight said. (dont u just hat twi,lit? she tinks shes so perfrect but shes NOT!(

'oh okay." _sad.

Suddly tha dor waz nocked down and ranbow dash cam in! the door ladned on tlights stpid ugly face nd made it even uglyer.

Hi!" ranbow sed sawesomely. (I 3 rianbow so much! i hate it wen ppl say shes lezbian thooug! Shes to awsome to be gay, plus lezbos dont dye there hair! Theyre to boyish! I had a frend onse hoe desided to becom lesbo so i had to stop beiing her frend, cuz otherwize she mite try to hit on me and that wuold be nasty as fick!)

"hi dike,' sed twlight cuz shes one of tha stupd ppls who tinsk randow is gay. Twlight acshully is gay and has a gros lesbo cruhs on ranbow!

Rinbow dahs ignred twilght and went over to _. When she git over to _ she sad, "_, i need to tell you someting importent."

Ok/ sed _ and folowed her otside.

What is it?" _assed ass soon as they got oatside.

"there is a vrey speshul grill i have herd abot. GOD told me abotu her."

'omg ou can talk to GOD?" _asked

"yea wich kinda prooves im not gay cuz GOD wold never talk to a gay perzon," rnbow sai. "Anyway her nam is LAvender but rite now shes in a place called Alrernia with a butch of trolls who are kinda crazzy and mihgt kill her, oso we shood probly go find her and safe her.'

"wat arf trolls?" _-aksed.

"Its hrad to explan," random explianed.

"ah ok," _ sed. We shood go save her but wwe probly shoulndt get Tiight to help cuz shes gay and migt corupt Lavnder. "

"Shes to Cristian and GOD luving to be crupted." Rambom sad. "but we shoodnt bring her anyway becuz nobody liekes her and shell justs get in tha way/."

They went to raarity and asked her if she had a compooter cuz thee trollls are kinda geeku and are on theyre computuers alot lolololol. Rearity made them a comptuer ot ov clothe cuz she can make ANYWOYTHING OUT OF CLOT!

"Tanks so much Roarity.' Randobw and _ sad.

Randow and _and rairty all gut on tha computter and goggled pesturchum so they cood set up a accont. they fond it and clocked on it to mak it pop up.

Peesternum sure is a weerd webshit." _ sied.

"yeah' said Rinbow. she mad an acont and her acoont nam was awsomeFlyer.

_'s acount name wuz dargonAprentice.

Rearitys wus butifulBootifulness.

rainbow colsed her eyes and sent a telapathick massage to GOD. 'GOD wut ar tha trills accoot names.' She aksed.

GOD sed he coodn't tel her that yet cuz she wusnt redy to know but that Lavandars account nam wuz godsMassenger.

"ipen a chat with godsMEssanger. Sed randow dash.

_ opend the chat.

**_CHAT!111111111112cHAT!CHAT! 9this is ta chat!)_**

**DA: helo larvender**

**GM: hrllo! Ho ar yuo/**

**DA: mt name is _. Ur a very impotent persin and we haf to talk to uo! **(wops i fagrot to turn bold of lololol,ol,kol.,)

GM tank yu butt im nit really that impatient! Im juts a normal girl.

DA: no yur relly imporktent! You hav troll in you after al, and yu are GODs dauter!

GM; ok ok i beleve yu but how am i impotent?

DA: mu frend ranbow dash says ur tha only one hoo can bring GODs mesage to da entir yuniverse!

AN/ DUNDUN DUNDUNDUN! lololol inst it exiting! I tink i did wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy bettur on thi chaptur so tell me wut you tink, im triing rlly hard to rite better adn evrything, so pleze dont be mean this tim cuz that made me really sad. :(

byebye hop yu liek it leave god reveiws!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: ok some ov tha revews dont make cents! Someone siad that kismesis is hate love and its not hate love cause wat the folk is hate love! tats not a ting! Aslo, why woud this be a jok! :( tis is relly serous!

Tank yu to tha peple ho said '9/10 "It was ok" –IGN Otherwise neds moar Jegus/gog XDdd s oorginal' adn "Wow best story I've ever read. 5 out of 5 stars. :):):):)

And no im not roxy! how cold i be roxy? tat dosn't mak sens. A

And Rose is nit awsom! she sucs cuz shes lexbo and tats relly gros!

Anyway on to ta stry!

Ranbow dash usd her telepathy powers and mad herself adn rarity aper on Alterniia!

"wow were ar we?' rarty askd.

'were on alterna!' rin blow D sh said.

'Holy shinoodles!" rarty sed.

REainbow dash and rairity were floting in the midle of the ocen!

"I dont tink Lavendr's in the ocan!' Ranbow sed.

Sudnly this stupid fish girl came ot ov tha water adn she was RELY STUPID!

"Wat ar-E yuo talkin abot?" she asked. (she does _-_-E insted of e cause shes STUPIDD!)0

"wow yur STUPID. How do yu dont know wat were talking abot?' rainbow sed.

'cux I'm STUPID.' The STUPID fish grill sed. "My nams Fefery.'

"we dont car.' Rainbow sed.

"i'm reeeeeeee-Elly STUPID,' the girl STUPIDly sid agan and then she drownded.

'Tanks for makin her die, GOD.' Rianbow dash adn rarity sed.

"yur welcome.' GOD calld down frum Heven. "Shes to STUPID A to liv anywy. shes gunna go to hell for bein so STUPID.'

"yay!' RFainbow adn rARTY sed.

"Know go fidn Lavnder!' GOD said.

_-=-0=-0-0-=

Srry tis chaptar wus so shrt! It was mosttly juts getin them to alternia adn killing fefhairy. I hat tat STUPID bithc!


	5. Chapter 5

A/n; uh...wats starkits prophecy?

and i'm not a homophob. im just a good cristian! And i get ta trol romanse alredy so quit explaning it!

ACSHULLY YO NOW WAT? jUS SHUT UP/! this storyy is realy good1 jus caus youre to stupidy to uderstond wats gong on dosnt men its a bas storu k? If u guis dont stip im gonna set mu boyfrend SAm on you and teres a guy in tha bible namd Samyul adn tat sunds a lot lik sam and Sam can evn be short fir samyul adn sinse Samuls in ta bibl adn biblycal ppl ar ta sit, tat mens Samm wil beet yu up caus you suck! N alsoo cents yu mad fun ov mu stry yur all gonna go too hel adn im gonna go tto Haven wit sam caus yu giuz all suck wjd!

9090909090909090909999999999999999999999999999999999999

Heres ta story::!:

Ranbow dash adn rarity had ben walkin for a few days tryin to find Larvendar.

"War is she?' Farty assed

'i dunno." Siad Rinbow. 'lets jus keep lokin.'

Sudnely tey saw lavender! Sollix adn karkat and gamze had founded her an tey all fell in luv wit her so tey were trying to convinc xxxxxxxxxxs her to live wit them!

'i wan her to liv wit me!' Gamzeee sid

"no i want her to live wih me.' sad karjat.

;I lik her ta mostest!' sad soliz.

Ten ranbow and rarity cam ofer. "wats goin on?" rainboo askd.

'fir som reson teyre arguin over me!' Lavender sad.

"it's becaus yur so butiful.' Said solux romancilly and lavender fell in lov wit him.

"darn it.' Karkar adn gamze sad

"Yay' sad sollix

Sudney everon herd somting! it sonded lik a huge bitch sayin someting stupid!

'wat ar yu doin sillox?' arada sad bitcly.

"Tis is my new grillfrend, sad solux. "im breakin up wit yu aradia.

Arada strated to cry bbitchly adn ran away cryin.

Sollix adn Lavender kissd.

"yay.' everone said...exsept for Gamze becase he was relly jelos!

j

'lets go ahed adn go into Karkraps hous so we can explan everyting to yu." Rainboww dashes rsaid to larvender.

'ok.' sad lavder.

Tey all went into karkars huse. aradia was ter to. She hid uder ta couch wwere she thout tey coudnt see her but she hid relly badly adn tey al new were she was.

'Yu ar te only one wo can spred gods word, Laver!" said ranboi.

"OMg relly?' harped Lavender.'well i am GODS dater.'

"R-EEEEEEEElly?' somone said STUPIDLy. It was feferi!

"fick off fereri.' Sad Soliz.

"Buts i lov yu!' fefiri sad. Se tryed to necro Solux to get him to dat her but solix luved Larveder so mutch tat he completly ignord her.

Ten nepetta adn Equs cam in!

Aradia desided to dat Equis becase se's a SLUT adn a BITC adn becas she was jellos tat Solix adn me were datin. Equus adn ardia went awy nd had sex but aridaa dyed cux equz is to stong nd also cux he ssweated al over her adn she drownd.

"oh nooooooooo'p fereri said

"Stfu!" dave siad. "nonody leiked her anywy.

"i licked her!' fefery sad.

"well nobdy cars if u loked her.' slux sed.

ten fefry cryed adn se cryed so much tat se drowned in her own ters. Everyon lafed at her adn at arada.

'So wat were yu sayin abot me bein ta only on wo can spred GODS mesage?" i asked wen we were don lafing.

Rainbow das opned her moth to respind...


	6. Chapter 6

a/n' so somone sid tis is ta best homstuk-mlp crosovr on tha sit, so yu giz can SUC IT! i dont ned a fuking edtor screw yo. AD I DID NOT RITE TAT! WERE DID I RIT THA!

also this chaper is rely sad! On of the man caracters dies and its relly serios so DONT MAK FUN OF IT! it super super sad, ok?

123456778890)(*&^%%%%$# !

...WHEN SUDLY VRISKAS BRUST IN THRU THE DOR!

'holly shit1" dav exclamd

Omg yu hav to hepl me! viska shoted

'wats rong' larvder ased

'tavos is chasin me and is gona kil me' vrika sad twingely

O _no' jon sid bcas he was in lov wit vika 'wel help yu vrisa_

'_yea dont wory.' Dave s_aid

'here come sit on the crotch wit us/' larva sad "well all stad in frot of yo and protct you

visa sitted on ta coch adn everone stood in front of her.

ten tabros cam in tro ta door! dav adn jon tryed to push him bac otsid, but tavrod puched them boths in te fac and nocked them oit

then gamee adn tavro both puled ot guns ad had an epic gun fite lik in gangstar movis but Tavos bet gaze by kiking him in te fac

tavoo ponted ta gun in viska face. 'REDY TO DI BICH!' he shoted

'nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo1' visra scramed

Ten Avender lokd up an shoted. "god plse help vrisa!'

rthen god gave lavender litning powers! Se rased her hand and shot a ligtning bolt at tavris and nocked him ovr!

'fuc you!' taros shoted

'no, guck yu!' solux sad

tavos fliped him off and shooted ta gun at vrisa

'o no!; everone exsept for tavo scremed

Gmaeze tryed to shot tavos but tavis ran ot the door befor he cold

Lavender was holdin vrisa in her arms. 'Plese vriska yur going to be ok!"" lavender cryed

no im sory lavder.' Vrika sad. 'im gona di.

Ten she dyed

jon crid relly hard but then laveder was lik: 'its ok. se went to hevan.'

Adn everyon was happy agan

'but we cant let tavos run arond shoting peple!" gimzee sid

'how do yu now hell shoot anyone els?" karkay askd

'Tavrps and me ar in rival gangs.' gamzee sad. 'hes the leder of te meanest gang in ta whole city.'

'we hav to stop him!' sad nepta

38532579320489013

DUN DUN DUN DUN! wat do yu tink? Aslo, if teres anyting you want to hapen in tis story yuo can reqest it adn Ill try to put it in! :)


End file.
